Tolerance Exercise

Rationale: To be blunt, violence often starts with not LISTENING! Good listening skills (non-judgmental) can often lead to tolerance and mutual respect. Being able to share our thoughts and feelings in positive ways is also important for effective communication. Being able to speak and listen can create pleasant changes in our environment.

Time: 20 - 30 minutes

Facilitators:

• I or 2 members can read to the group the purpose, explanations and keep time.
• After the explanation please allow those who want to not do this exercise to pass.
• If someone does not have a partner, one of the facilitators can fill in during the exercise.
• At the end a facilitator will do the facilitator's note. The facilitators can process the exercise with the group.

Sequence:

1. Explain why we are doing this exercise:
   • To remind us that we are all of value.
   • To help us meet the put-downs society gives us.
   • It is affirming to listen and to be listened to.
   • To get over the idea that we are bragging or ego-tripping if we say good things about ourselves.
   • To build self-esteem and help us feel good about ourselves.
   • To feel the power of self-confidence so we can begin to transform conflicts.

2. Explain the process: "The group will divide into pairs. Each person will talk for 2 minutes on 'What I like about myself or my life.' The only rule is: You may not say anything negative or bad about yourself, including any negative limitations on the good things about yourself. You cannot, for instance, say that you are a good cook but you can't make gravy. When I call 'start,' one person will speak and the other, listen. The facilitators will keep time and announce when the 2 minutes are up. Then the listener becomes the speaker and will talk for 2 minutes to the 'new' listener about the same topic. Then each will introduces her/his partner to another pair."
3. Explain the role of the listener:

• Listen intensely, without talking, for the whole 2 minutes. If speakers say anything negative about themselves or put limits on their good points, you can interrupt to remind them.